The List. 💀
Dumb ways to die. So many dumb ways to die.
Set fire to your hair
Way #1. A perennial classic.
Add the fire filter. In real life.
Poke a stick at a grizzly bear
Way #2. Bear does not enjoy poking.
Eat medicine that's out of date
Way #3. Read the label.
AI said the expiry is a suggestion.
Use your private parts as piranha bait
Way #4. Do not.
Get your toast out with a fork
Way #5. Metal + electricity = no.
Do your own electrical work
Way #6. Call an electrician.
The chatbot wrote the wiring diagram.
Teach yourself how to fly
Way #7. You cannot.
Design your own wings. Cardboard tier.
Eat a two‑week‑old unrefrigerated pie
Way #8. Compost, not lunch.
Couch snack for the season finale.
Invite a psycho‑killer inside
Way #9. Screen your guests.
AI vibes said they seemed nice.
Scratch a drug dealer's brand new ride
Way #10. Nice paint job.
Take your helmet off in outer space
Way #11. Keep it on.
Use your clothes dryer as a hiding place
Way #12. Terrible hiding place.
Perfect binge cave. Until spin cycle.
Keep a rattlesnake as a pet
Way #13. Get a cat.
Sell both your kidneys on the internet
Way #14. You need at least one.
Spreadsheet the ROI first.
Stand on the edge of a train station platform
Way #15. The dumbest one of all. Be safe around trains.
Taking a meeting on the way to the train.